The image is just a sweetener. (source) |
It was at 4 PM. I put my DualShock 4 down and turned off the TV. It was Monday; I was fasting because of reasons.
*gruuugg*
I could hear my stomach growling. I walked to the kitchen and saw my mom making spaghetti.
"Fetch me the corned beef." She said.
"Mom. there isn't any" I replied.
"Well, go buy one." She asked.
Immediately I grabbed my bike key then proceed to buy a can of corned beef and it cost 20k. After I gave my mom the corned beef, I proceed to went straight to bed because I had a night shift that day.
*bruug*
I jumped to my 10-year-old bed and flew to dreamland (even though I did not dream anything).
"Wake up, son. It's maghrib." My mom said
"Wha?"
I looked at the clock and it was already 6 PM. I got out of my bed then head straight to the dining room to break my fast. My mom made spaghetti as promised and it was a gourmet meal for me.
*clink*
I put down my spoon and fork and went to pray.
After praying I accidentally looked at my old notebook.
After looking at it I felt something.
Something odd.
Something that made me both happy and sad.
Something that was once reachable and it was not anymore.
I remembered buying it on the first day of my college. It was a morning of mid-August 2013. Being an unprepared freshman, I did not think to buy it before I pass a random book store on my way to my campus.
*skrriit*
I hit the brakes of my bike then proceed to park it near the book store. There was this random red notebook that caught my eye then immediately I brought it to the nearest cashier counter. It cost about 30k and I also grabbed a pen during my checkout.
I remembered the book store was closed sometimes in 2014 because I remembered passing the same road and I did not see the book store anymore.
"At least I got something to remembers that book store." I thought to myself.
I remembered writing lots of things in that binder. I wrote my college courses such as Writing, Reading, Listening, Structures, Speaking, Phonetics and Phonology, Intro to Linguistics, and many more. I wrote some random things such as my thoughts during that time, a passcode to an online course, and even phone numbers and address of my lecturers. I could even find some random scribbles that I drew out of boredom during some classes.
*prrrt*
I flipped the back page and saw some of the writings and drawings. Those were made by my friends. A drawing by Reza who will be gone to Thailand in one week from now for pursuing his Master's degree, A signature of Naufal who is currently in Semarang working as a news reporter, scribbles from Iqbal who is currently in Yogyakarta doing his thesis, illegible writing of Decky who is currently fighting for his future with his girlfriend, and a random writing assignment that I did with Tito who is currently growing his potential in Jakarta.
I remembered spending countless hours with them six years ago.
I remembered the first lunch we had together in burjo and we proceed to rest at Tito's boarding house while waiting for the next course.
I remembered we watch a movie, but only spend 10 minutes watching it because we did not have enough time.
I remembered those were the easier days.
As easy as analyzing allusions of one of the songs from ERB.
As easy as to text them to meet up then proceed to spent hours and hours laughing at cringy jokes.
I remembered it.
Why do I feel happy and sad at the same time?
Then I remembered.
Reality is a painful receipt.
Nostalgia is a powerful drug.
Reality is often disappointing
Nostalgia is often exhilarating
We may not be the same like before
My friends are fighting their war
There is no encore
Nevermore
Inside my heart, I see it as a blessing
Seeing them do their very best at progressing
As for my calling, I might have to keep guessing
But someday we will get together and all will be laughing
All those hardships and obstacles we tore are anything but depressing
Because then
We will remember it
As a nostalgia.